Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she peed on how many people?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
