8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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