Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He shit in the fireplace
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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