go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
