toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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