everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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