I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
