Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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