Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
