I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
