I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
