I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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