One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
