talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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