I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
