The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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