"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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