dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
operation harelip BJ is a go
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
