She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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