so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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