Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
