Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't deserve a penis
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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