How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
