i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
