I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
