My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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