I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
