what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
