I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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