I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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