How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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