Just mADE A PArabola og urine
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Someone shattered a urinal.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
