I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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