I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
