Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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