That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
