you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
