A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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