guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
