But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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