i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
