what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
