We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
