I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So I just went to clothing optional bar
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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