Betty ford says i'm here all night
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just tell him i said nine months
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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