Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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