We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
