Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
