New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm just crazy horny about you
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
