I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
that may or may not have been my penis.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
