Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
